News!

1. Found someone to love. (Yehey!)
2. I'm going to be an uncle. (mixed... oh crap and a bit of yehey.)
3. I'm going to be an uncle again. (PACKINGSHEET!)*

*Calm down... nothing much you can do. Just support them.

Got it!

I finally got it! Well, actually got it last October but I'm just writing it now. Not what I expected... have to admit, a bit disappointed but nonetheless, i got it. And I'm happy.

Next In Line

This is definitely my next phone.

What's next?

The other night, I received a text message from a good friend saying I won’t be able to set out to my new journey. At that time, I was pre-occupied with other thoughts but I reply that it was ok.
Now that it has actually sank-in, I kind of have mixed emotions about it. Should I feel sad about? My logic says I shouldn’t. I did say from the very beginning that there is no pressure and that I’m just doing this to try it out. If it works, then good. If it doesn’t, then let it be. However, there’s this sting inside me saying it should not be ok. It’s like it is making me doubt myself worth. Am I really that stupid? I didn’t make it once upon a time in my life and then now…. Is faith just saying to me that that place is not for you? Or it’s just screaming that you are indeed stupid? Why am I feeling this? Is it right? Are they right? Slowly, I feel I’m getting smaller. What next now? Again, I am torn. Should I set out and pursue it using a different path or quit the idea because it’s saying it’s not for you? But I want to… I want to see myself. I want to rediscover myself. What’s next? I think I’ve made my mind… I need this and I want this. Still no pressure.

???

First... who is this "Chinggoy" that a certain Jay called me? Hmm? I wonder?

Ah, it was good to see you, my friend. It has been awhile and I'm glad to see all of you again... you, you, and you.
I have been updated as well. I visited it… sad and hillarious.

Still very much awake and thoughts are shelling my battle field.
It’s not easy being green. (Bwhahaha!)

In a way, I am more at ease lately.
A co-worker said something like, “Think about it… would it actually matter 3 or 6 months from now?”

Think about….

Ticking

Ah, its has been awhile.

Nothing much really happening... just passing time.

It is again 3:30 in the morning and "he" is as late as ever. I wonder when will "he" ever arrive on time again?

How time flies... it's the 22nd of December already and I'm not yet done with my shopping. Hope I can shorten my list later.

Got myself an early Christmas gift and a renewed vice. I guess, that's one reason I'm having a hard time budgeting.

A lot of friends are coming home for a visit. Hope we get to see all of them before they leave again.

I wonder how my friend is doing? Probably asleep. Rest well my friend. My other friend is definitely asleep... you have to work for that big day. Yehey for you!!!

What the FUCK!!!!
I never said I was perfect!
I never said I was holier than whoever!
Damn! I do get upset and I do burst!!!
Fuck!!!
What do you want?!!!
Yes, its my fault!!!
Yes, I do get what I want!!!
In exchange for what?!!
My life?!! My exsistance?!!
Hell!!! I'm sorry!!! Hell!!! Its all my fault!!!
I'm fucking ungrateful!!!
FUCK!!!

It has been awhile....

It has been a awhile since my last post... been busy with work.
Too busy to actually feel? I'm afraid not... just too busy to post.
I was lucky enough to be invited for a short vacation a week ago.
I was able to relax... and I mean relax. I am so lucky to have good friends.
Just a few hours ago, our alma mater drew first blood. Everybody was ecstatic... I was one of them.
I am again writing... and the feelings haven't change... my one wish.
I know that its tiring to hear me rambling about the same things... hell, I'm tired hearing myself. But like I said before, I'm posting for myself... a therapy of sort.
I do not want to be a burden... and I would not allow myself to become one.
Anyway, I miss my friend. I need a drink. How about a day out of town, my friend? Maybe, one of these weekends? Just a thought.